There’s always something exciting about the first day and the first month of the new year. We’ve turned the page, and many, me included, have set resolutions. It’s an opportunity to start fresh. Whether you want to create healthier meals for your family or exercise at least three times a week, the beginning of the new year always seems to be the time to “just do it.”
But sometimes there can be anxiety and pressure attached to lofty resolutions. Let’s face it, how long do we keep them? I don’t know about you, but my resolution to go to bed earlier is already derailed. Now, I’m discouraged, which makes me wonder, “Are resolutions even healthy to make?” So, I turned to a few local experts for answers.
Dr. Melissa Santos, division chief of pediatric psychology at Connecticut Children’s Hospital and associate professor of pediatrics at UConn, says, “The idea of a resolution is such a big concept because we set these goals with no timetable or pre-work of how we’re going to achieve them. Rather than think about resolutions, we like to use SMART goals.”
SMART is an acronym for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and linked to time, says Santos. And we need to break down our goals to the smallest step to be successful. For example, I love that she says that instead of telling your kids that the resolution is to clean your room every day, how about instead putting on a favorite song and having a contest to see who can pick up the most things during the time it’s playing. It’s brilliant because this links to what you want, which is a clean room, but you’re doing it in a way that’s achievable and realistic for kids, and grown-ups, to accomplish.
“If I wanted to start going to the gym January first, I need to get a membership,” says Santos. “I need to figure out the hours and how I’m going to get there. It may not be realistic. But, instead, how about, ’I’d like to go the gym this year, but I’ll start with going for a walk x number of times per week, and then build up.’”
Marc Lehman, a licensed marital and family therapist (LMFT) with a private practice in Avon, where he sees individuals, couples and families, and a virtual private practice, uareheard.com, specifically designed for high school and college-aged young adults, finds himself reflecting on the year with his patients, taking a look at what went well and what didn’t go so well, and making some changes.
“I like using a simple system of a calendar and coming up with achievable goals,” notes Lehman. “You can apply that to wanting to do two hours of homework every day, and if you achieve that goal, circle the date on the calendar. Maybe the goal is to get as many circles in a month on a calendar as you can. Keep it simple. You’re looking to create a pattern, some sort of momentum toward change.”
Both Santos and Lehman agree that while the new year is a great time to start change, we don’t need to wait until January first to try to form a new habit. Every day offers an opportunity to start fresh. And as we try to create new habits and attain our goals, there’s value in self-monitoring and keeping track of what we’re doing to hold ourselves accountable. Whether circling a date on a calendar or writing it down in a journal, I love that they both say that change is not a linear path, but instead a work in progress.
“There’s a metric that says that it will take 21 days to make a new change or habit to become part of your life,” says Santos. “I think the easiest way for a habit to become part of the new you is when you have broken it down to be so small that it’s achievable and realistic. You have to give yourself permission that there may be times when you can’t achieve what you want to do and to not stay stuck there. Instead, take it as an opportunity to say, ‘Maybe i need to break this down even further.’ For example, if I have a goal to walk every day after work or even three times a week, but all of a sudden, I’m working until 8 or 9 o’clock at night, it’s not that I don’t want to do it, but maybe that goal is not something I can achieve at this time and I have to re-alter it.”
So, set some SMART goals for yourself and your family in 2022. Make some positive changes. Just clarify what you really want to accomplish, focus your efforts, and use your time productively to increase your chances of achieving what you want in life. Personally, I’m going to keep at trying to get more sleep since it’s better for my health, energy level, and overall happiness. I’m going to circle those days on the calendar when I’ve gone to bed at a decent time and reward myself someway, somehow with every great, small step along the way.
Jennifer Carmichael is a Contributing Writer at the Connecticut Science Center with a degree in Journalism from the University of Rhode Island. She’s written on lifestyle topics for magazines and newspapers throughout the state. A mom of two teenagers, she can’t promise that parenting is a breeze, but she can offer easy tips, tricks, and advice on all things about the Science Center.
